During my meanderings of thought I started thinking about politics, and service, and people suffering - the millions of prisoners in the prison system or living a life of 'supervised freedom', the children in foster care, the millions around the world devastated by natural disasters, or populations suffering at hands of governments and underdeveloped social circumstances.
My heart aches for all the pain in the world. I don't know where to go, how to begin, or even what shape my dreams truly take. This, however, I do know - that I am not living in my passion, and for the first time I recognized the other day that it hurts.
For those of you who know me you know that I am passionate about a LOT of things, and have an opinion about EVERYTHING! :) One of the things I am MOST passionate about is the populations, no matter where in the world - or why - who are struggling. I've struggled a LOT in my life and I know how it feels, so my heart aches for those who suffer needlessly, and senselessly. I hurt even for the people who know better but yet allow themselves to be victims - even if their suffering is due to their own choices, it doesn't make their pain any less real than yours or mine.
Before I started writing this blog I looked up the word passion (I almost wrote 'in' the dictionary, but that would have been a lie! I looked it up on Dictonary.com - LOL, which is to say I looked it up on the website that's like a dictionary! - ah, information age). The word passion is a noun, and defined as; any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling.
I truly believe that each of us have a unique set of gifts and talents. Furthermore, I strongly believe that the life we live, the experiences we have, and each moment shapes us into exactly the person needed to fulfill our destiny in life. Some of you may be familiar with Purpose Driven Life and other such teachings for life type books. This is exactly what I'm talking about. Doing the things that only you can do, and being involved with the things you're passionate about is what this blog is all about.
I'm not living my purpose, and the closest involvement I have to the things I'm passionate about are FB posts, the occasional news story and my own daydreams - this pathetic & uncomfortable! I don't know precisely what my purpose is, but I know that (for the most part) I'm very far away from contributing to life how I'd like to. Don't get me wrong, I'm showing up for a lot of my callings in life. I'm a functioning member of society, for instance. I'm a fit mother. I am currently an excellent employee, a sister, a friend, a girlfriend, etc. I am a taxpayer, blah blah blah. It's not that I'm NOT contributing, but rather that I am 'restless, irritable, and discontent' that I'm not contributing to my best and highest use.
I'm pretty sure that until I am living in my purpose and contributing at my highest potential (which I believe can only happen through doing what I've been created to do) I'm going to be some degree of miserable - and I'm not happy about it.
I was definitely not created to be part of the rat race that I'm currently in. I don't daydream about business (but I know some people who do), it's just not for me. So, I'm asking myself - very PUBLICLY how do I get closer to living in my dreams, what steps can I take to get closer to finding the path I know deep in my heart I should be on?
For today, writing about it is enough - honesty is the first step you know. Next, I figure out a way for me to earn money doing what I want to be doing, then I suppose we'll see from there. My eyes and ears are open, and if any of my readers should happen to have a little inspiration about my situation I welcome your suggestions! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment